


An Answer

by CrystalOak



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depressed Player, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Other, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 17:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17451551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalOak/pseuds/CrystalOak
Summary: "Is there any reason I shouldn't roll off this cliff right now?"Was there even a decent answer that could be given?





	An Answer

The farmer hadn’t known Shane for long, but somehow they had been able to see him at his absolute worst. 

Just a week ago, they found him face down in the dirt, beer cans strewn about the torn up grass around him. His body lay limp, just a bit too close to the rocky cliffside of the Cindersap forest. He had asked the farmer one question: 

 

“Is there any reason I shouldn’t just roll off this cliff right now?” 

 

That question had left them thinking for a long, long while, even after they had answered it. They found themself worried for the man, despite the fact that he had gained the resolve to finally see a therapist. 

Depression wasn’t a new subject to the farmer, and unfortunately, the scene they witnessed last week was just a tad too familiar. 

Why _shouldn’t_ Shane have simply fallen? 

Was there even a decent answer that could be given? 

The farmer asked themselves this nearly every night following the incident. Despite how much better Shane seemed to be feeling when he would give a reluctant smile during their conversations, despite how tired their body was from their grueling work, they still found themselves staring with strained eyes at the same old monotone ceiling, running the same dialogue in their head over and over again. 

Tonight was no different. 

_“I’m too small and stupid to take control of my life… Is there any reason I should even go on? Tell me why I shouldn’t roll off of this cliff right now.”_

Repeating again, again, _aga-_

__

____

Something interrupted their thoughts. 

____

 

____

A dull sound, extremely soft, reached their ears. They stayed still and silent for a moment, chalking up the noise to be one of the common creaks of the old farmhouse. They hadn’t found a reason to upgrade it yet. A small, empty house suited them just fine. 

____

It came again, the same sound, from the same location. 

____

The front door. 

____

 

____

Hesitantly, more from exhaustion than fear, the farmer stepped onto the cold floor and approached the door. That noise was probably just the wind, anyway... Nobody in this town would come knocking on someone’s door past midnight. 

____

Still in their day clothes, the farmer opened the door to find the very person that filled their mind for the past week standing in their doorway. 

____

“Hey, sorry to bother you so late, but… Do ya mind if I come in?” < 

____

Shane stood on the small wooden porch, the same ragged jacket he always wore being tugged tightly against his torso. 

____

“Sure…” the farmer stood aside, and allowed him to step into the one-room house. 

____

“Your place is kinda small, huh?” Even after his improvement, Shane was still blunt as ever. 

____

“I guess so.” they answered, leaning against the wall. “So, what do you need?” 

____

“Well… Look, I won’t try to sugarcoat it or anything…” he turned to face them, “I’m not doing very well today.” 

____

They cocked their head to the side, a signal for him to continue. 

____

“I was feeling a bit better this week, I even stopped going to the Stardrop… But then, when I had to get on the train to see the therapist, I just… I just froze up. I ended up calling to cancel the appointment, and I stayed home, and I…” he stopped his ramble there and stared at the floor with a tense expression. 

____

The farmer then walked Shane over to the table and set of chairs they had in their home, and gestured for him to sit in the seat across from theirs. 

____

He was silent for a few seconds, still forcing his gaze downward. 

____

“I got drunk and went to the cliffs again.” 

____

At this, the farmer jolted upward a bit, and their understanding expression was replaced with one of worry. 

____

“I- I didn’t go as far as before, so don’t worry…!” he laughed awkwardly in an attempt to reassure them, but it didn’t work well. 

____

“So… Are you in the same place as before?” the farmer asked in a gentle tone, forcing the concern out of their voice... They didn’t want to make the conversation about them and their worry. They knew from experience that it was best to simply listen and understand someone in this position. 

____

Guilting someone was the worst tactic in a conversation like this. 

____

“I don’t think so....?” he said, seeming to doubt his answer. 

____

The uncertainty in his response only brought along more worry. “Are you in any danger right now?” 

____

“I- I honestly don’t know. That’s why I’m here.” 

____

“That’s... why you’re here?” 

____

“I just… Yoba, I shouldn’t have come here at all.” he shook his head. "I’m sorry…” Shane abruptly stood to leave, but the farmer quickly leaned across the table to tug at his jacket sleeve. He stopped in his tracks, and stood still. 

____

“Shane.” they looked up at the man, “I want to help you. It’s OK, there’s no need to apologize.” Shane’s expression softened a bit, but he didn’t sit back down. “I won’t make you talk,” they stood, “but know that you can talk to me about how you feel. I won’t judge you, and I’ll definitely keep it between us if you want.” 

____

Another silence passed with Shane refusing to meet the farmer’s eyes. 

____

He mumbled something. 

____

“Yoba, this is so stupid…” 

____

He paused again. 

____

“I came here because… I thought that maybe _you_ could keep me from my bad thoughts.” 

____

Once again, the farmer’s expression switched to one of surprise. Shane didn’t even need to look up to realize this. 

____

“I know it’s stupid, I know we haven't even known each other for very long… I don’t know why, but I thought that for _some reason_ you would be able to make me feel better… You always do, whenever I talk to you, no matter what, you just- you just always make me feel-” 

____

The farmer placed a hand on his shoulder to slow his panic. After a few seconds of silence, they allowed their hand to fall to the side, and attempted to make eye contact with Shane. He reluctantly raised his head to meet the farmer's gaze. 

____

Tears dripped slowly down his cheeks, and the farmer couldn't tell if he was red from crying or embarrassment. 

____

“I don’t know why, but…” he hiccuped, “you just make me feel so much better.” 

____

“Shane…” 

____

“Yoba, I’m so sorry.” he wiped away his tears, but more just flowed down to replace the others. 

____

“Shane, it's okay… I’m here for you.” the farmer leaned in to hug him, but then pulled back. They had gotten too caught up in the moment... They realized that that may not be the best move, he seemed so overwhelmed as it was- 

____

But before they could even finish their thought, Shane had pulled them into a tight hug. He sobbed loudly into the farmer’s shoulder, and without missing a beat, they hugged him back, rubbing small circle into his back. 

____

“I’m here, it’s okay…” they whispered. “I’m here.” 

____

 

____

The two stayed like that for a while, eventually sinking into a pile on the floor, Even after Shane’s sobs had slowed, they didn't move a muscle, neither person wanting the moment to end. Such an uncomfortable position, but something kept them both there. 

____

 

____

Eventually, Shane spoke up. 

"I guess..." he untangled himself from the farmer, and leaned back on his hands to face them, "I should probably get going, huh?" 

"If you want." the farmer responded, attempting to keep the disappointment out of their voice. 

"Yeah, I guess Marnie and Jas are probably worried..." 

The two stayed put for a few minutes more. 

Shane eventually stood to leave, giving the farmer a wordless smile as they gripped the door handle. The farmer returned the gesture, as Shane began to take a step outside. He stopped in the doorway, not turning to look at the farmer. 

"Could I come back sometime?" 

"Of course." 

And with that, Shane left the house, his smile never leaving his face. 

____

It was nearly 5 o’clock. The farmer decided it would be pointless to go to sleep now, and sat down in front of their fireplace. The warmth engulfed their body, overwhelming them with its pleasantness. Though, it couldn’t compare to the warmth they had been feeling only minutes ago. 

____

 

____

Maybe that question had an answer after all.

____


End file.
